Okay so you know these glasses right?
I was in class and I put them on. And, being the dramatic smartass I am I turned to my friend and said, with the most conviction I could muster, “Behold- I am now ten times funnier.”
And she looked at me- looked at me dead in the eyes- and said very seriously:
“Ten times zero… is still zero”
(via potato-tots)
DROPPING A SHAMPOO BOTTLE IN THE SHOWER IS ONE OF THE MOST TERRIFYING EXPERIENCES IN LIFE
and I’m going to be an engineer! jeez
that’s a very fascinating piece of information thank u
(via potato-tots)
If you Americans ever feel bad because Philosopher’s Stone was changed to Sorcerer’s Stone, just remember that the French version of the first Harry Potter book and movie is literally called Harry Potter at the Wizarding School.
(via potato-tots)
what do you mean you can’t hang out i showered for this
i shaved for this
i put a bra on for you.
i got off tumblr for you
i am wearing real pants
I went outside
i got out of bed
i woke up
(Source: zackisontumblr, via potato-tots)
wow breaking up with someone is really hard.
good thing i’ll never have to worry about THAT
(via potato-tots)
*policeman voice* alright sir im going to have to ask you a few questions. *pulls out notepad* where did you come from? where did you go? *slams fists on interrogation table* where DID you come from cotton eyed joe?
(via potato-tots)
volleyball is just a more intense version of “don’t let the balloon touch the floor
(via potato-tots)
how does one tell a boy that one likes him
I am a boy and have a foolproof plan for this:
- text them and start playing one of those 20q games
- if they start being a dodgy fella drop em
- if they ask “You like anyone?”
reply Yeah, you.- If they give you a negative reply sayin they dont like you back then just correct yourself to “*Yeah, you?”
dude that is genius
slow clappin’ it out.
(via potato-tots)
(Source: alecbaned, via potato-tots)
